A very slow week

I have the privledge of working my week in three consecutive 12 hour nightshifts. Tonight is my last for the week. My life is pretty hectic for a couple of days, but it is worth it to have the rest of the week off. I get to spend alot of time with my family. In comparison to last "week" this one has been pretty slow. Pretty cool.

I got to spend some time with one of my buddies that works in another department. She is a newlywed and is still somewhere on cloud 9. I love to hear her go on about her husband and how they are adjusting to life together (first marrige for both, no kids). I envy her because I have never been a first wife. I have had to come into both my marriges and current relationshiop in the wake of some psyco hose beast that had decimated both emotional and financial well being of my man. So I guess you could say that I'm a cleaner-uper. There were few firsts in these relationships. Just alot of me trying to prove that I was a better person than the one before me. To men who were totally unworthy of it. I guess I have become disillusioned the thought of marriage, but don't want to totally count it out. I remain hopeful for my future. I really do want to get married and be committed. Most importantly, I want someone who will be committed to me.

I am getting too old to keep hooking up with men who are emotionally stagnant and just want someone who will cook and clean for them. I am tired of rasing my guys along with my kids. for all his faults and past transgressions, my current BF is not a bad guy. He does what I ask of him, helps with the kids, and doesn't try to control money. We get along very well and spend alot more time together than most people. I have stuck with him through thick and thin so I think this will just be another adventure for us to go on together. I am hopeful...